Gaining something

I was reminded today of how much God loves me. In a way that is protective, loving, full and abounding with grace. It's a love that says no matter what. No matter what happens I will be there. I will be there for the good. I will be there for the bad. I will be there for the quiet moments when your prayers are only a whisper. It's in those moments that I feel his love more then I ever have before. 

In the moments that I can't imagine life getting any sweeter God drops another piece of the puzzle and I'm reminded that even when we can't see him working he's always one step ahead. He's always laying out the path before us. And because of that my heart yearns to run- to follow him, to give my life for all that he's given me. 

I look around sometimes and can't imagine that he has blessed me with all of this. He handed me my heart's desire in the form of a career. He's blessed me with an amazing set of friends and family. Opened up the doors to an amazing church in my new hometown and a great small group. Blessed me with a sweet family to stay with who are the closest thing I have to a second set of parents. 

Over the course of the last week or so and then today in church I've been surrounded by this verse: Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. (Mark 8:34, 35 NIV)

I realized over three years ago I was willing to give up my life. And I would do it again in a hardbeat. Giving up my life for the sake of the gospel is one of the best things I've ever done. His plan has always been better then mine. I'm thankful that over the years he's chipped away at the woman I was to reveal the woman I was always meant to be. 

I know that laying down my wishes and dreams and desires is difficult. It's difficult in the moment to say I'm willing to walk away if you have something else in mind- because I know from experience whatever He puts on the table before me is worth far more. 

❤️

Starting year 4

1,095.

That's how many days I've been in Texas. It's hard sometimes for me to grasp the fact that I've been here for three years already. Or sometimes that I even made it this far. I was only 25 when I showed up here- looking for a fresh start and somewhere to call home. 

I feel like I've grown so much not only as a person but also in my walk with God. Never has there been a time when I have felt so utterly alone in this world and yet so close to the One that created me. 

In honor of the end of year three here are three important things I've learned:

1. Lean on God and His promises- not on your own understanding. If you lean on the truth of who He says He is life is so much better. It's full of laughter and enjoyment instead of doubt. 

2. Enjoy every moment with the ones you hold dear. One of the hardest things is sending people presents because I'm not able to give them in person as often as I'd like. So when I get the chance to play Chinese checkers with my Gma and lose 5 games in a row, or have Starbucks with my best friend, I take it. Those are the memories you will always treasure- hold onto them with everything you've got. 

3. Take risks. Make big changes. Try new things. Love big. Share with the people you care about. This life is short and at the end of the day I want to know I gave it all I had- that I left it all on the table. 

The hardest and most challenging, but also the most rewarding years of my life have been spent here. I'm thankful everyday for the lessons, the tears, the moments and the memories. Thank you Texas for the last 1,095 days they truly have shaped me into the woman I've become ❤️

2013 in Review

(2013 I know that you and God have a lot more in store for me then all of this. I know that this year is going to be absolutely amazing. I pray that I continue to find God's leading in everyday and strive to make my life part of the greatest story ever told.)

 I can hardly believe as I write this that are only 2 days left in 2013....time seems to fly these days.

The beginning of the year brought Dillon Bridges into our lives. I was able to go home for a week during super bowl and see my friends and family. Those are the memories I hold onto the most - surrounded by friends and loved ones. I loved meeting the newest addition to the OG family!

In March I finished my first triathlon and it was amazing. Swim, bike and run at Sugar Land Memorial Park. 

In April Amy called with some amazing news - her and Tyler were getting married! And then everyone followed suit not long after - Mel and Jess both called and said they were getting married. :) I knew 2013 would be filled with some amazing memories at that point.

June we took our high schoolers to Coleford, England and were able to speak to over 900 students at Laker's Academy. What an amazing experience- sharing the gospel and our faith. Our last weekend there we took the kids from the church we partnered with and our students to a weekend retreat- I took a bad tumble off my bike which resulted in a tear in my shoulder. 

The summer was filled with fun trips to the beach, Austin, and random road trips to Beaumont and Lousiana. My friends are pretty much awesome. 

The end of September kicked off with 3 weddings and my 10 year high school reunion in a 6 week span. All back in California I might add. Though I wouldn't have traded those memories for anything. Maid of honor in two and bridesmaid in one I was truly blessed to stand up next to my best friend's on their wedding days. 

Not long after the last wedding I had shoulder surgery to repair the SLAP tear. Currently we are almost two months post surgery and I'm making some great gains. I can't lift anything more then one or two pounds but my mobility is getting better day by day. 

Hands down the biggest change of 2013 came in the last 6 weeks- I was offered an amazing opportunity in a small town just north of Houston as their Assistant City Manager. So as 2014 starts I will as well start a new adventure- new job, new church, new home. It's crazy and amazing, but I know God is with me every step of the way. 

To 2014:

My motto for you shall be this: Love God, love people and trust the rest will fall into place. I know that no matter what this next year brings as long as I lean on the faithfulness of Jesus I can do anything. He has carried me this far and out of love and obiendence to everything He's done I will take every step forward- for the sake of His name and His glory. 

A new chapter

There's something about the month of December- not sure if it's the change of weather or the promise of what this time of year means for those of us that love Jesus, but I love this time of year. 

Three years ago this month I got a phone call that would change my life. Unemployed for almost 6 months, attempting to finish my grad school comprehensive exams, my current boss called and offered me a second interview in Texas. I remember standing outside the library at Fresno State calling my Grandma and asking if my Christmas present could be a flight to Texas the week of Christmas. She said yes if that's what I wanted. I also remember her asking if this was something I really wanted, was it worth the risk? And in that moment it was. I had nothing to stand on except this open door God had laid before me and my faith. 

Fast forward three years later and South Texas is now my home. I've been so very blessed to be part of an amazing team at work, and been given the chance to open up the city of Sugar Land's first and only rec center. 

God provided in amazing ways and brought me to The Bridge Fellowship. Sitting in the seats of the Palladium today singing about how we've never walked alone. Not once. Ever. And for that I'm thankful. I'm thankful for my amazing friends and everyone that I hold dear at The Bridge. My small group girls have changed my life and I can't wait to see what their future holds. 

With all that being said....there's something about December that seems to change things. 

2 weeks ago I got this email:

A crazy email that I thought was spam. For those that know me my long term career goal is to become a city manager one day. I told a friend and co-worker that I was applying and he said he knew the city manager, so he called him. And I applied. And prayed and thought no way that this was ever going to pan out. 

I got an interview and even though I loved the people I interviewed with I thought it was a long shot. I chalked it up to a good experience. And then I got a call for a second interview. So last Wednesday, two weeks after this crazy email I drove up to Willis. 

I think that day will live in my memory forever. Sitting in the City Manager's office at 2pm he offered me the job. And without a hesitation I took the offer. 28 years old and in a matter of moments I became the Assistant City Manager for a small town in Texas. 

I can explain this in one word: GOD. His hand was in this from the beginning and I can't begin to thank Him. For the love, the grace, the guidiance that He is every day. 

Some moments I can't believe this is happening and other moments I'm so excited. I'm nervous but ready for the road ahead. I know whatever this new journey brings that He will always be with me and He will always be fighting for me. And that for me is enough hope to face anything tomorrow may bring. 

Week 1

I can't sleep. So I decided to blog instead. I am one week and a day past shoulder surgery. I have a feeling I might like to read these along the way. So here we go! 

I had my first post-op appt on Wednesday. I was cleared to shower which in and of it's self was a huge moment. Not showering or washing your hair for a week is too long. 

I was so excited for said shower that I didn't pay much attention to my shoulder. 

I can take it out of the sling. It's stiff, it's sore and it doesn't work. That probably sounded funny because I just had surgery but my arm doesn't work. 

I can't pick it more then a few inches from my side. I can barely write. I can't put my hair in a ponytail. 

But I start PT next week. 

I know I can do this. I know that I will get there. One day at a time. One moment and milestone at a time. I'm thankful right now for a repaired shoulder and the chabce to make a comeback. 😊

Chapters

Everyday we hear stories of new chapters in life. 

For my best friend it was getting her social security card with her new last name. A new chapter in her life has started. And I texted her this: 

Just think it's a new chapter is this book called life. It will have it's up and downs like any good story but the best part is you get to be a part of that story. Write it however you want. :)

Later I got a card from my mom with well wishes about my surgery with some money inside. 

And I read a story about my friend's adoption and how some paperwork expired and it's delayed them bringing home their boys. 

I realized something about stories today.   

We always want to go back to past chapters and change the ending but we can't. The future isn't found in the yellowing of the well worn pages of the past. The future has yet to be written- so we must embrace the present. Remember every laugh, every moment, every memory. Makes those moments the best. That way we won't have any fear of the ending because we lived the very best one.

As this realization settled over me today I was thankful for my life, my story, and this chapter. For the amazing people in it. Over the last week I've come to realize how incredibly important they are, how much I love them and how richly they add to my story. 

I have a feeling our stories are turning our pretty awesome. 

Wedding season

It's hard to believe the beginning of November is here and that in two months 2013 will be over. I swear time flies faster everyday and I try so very hard to be in the moment- to treasure today for what it's worth. Over the course of the last two months I have had the most amazing privilege of standing up for my three best friends on their wedding day. 

The first wedding was my best friend Amy Nicole Ballinger (now Wildey) and her husband Tyler. I can't think of a couple that is cuter then these two- they make me laugh everytime I'm around them and I love them for it. 

My maid of honor speech pretty much sums up our friendship and I'm so glad I was able to be there to share in their special day. 

I had a saying I told Amy a lot when we were in college- it's easier to know where you are going when you can remember where you came from. 

So let's take a little trip down memory lane- for those of you that don't know me I'm marge. And Amy and I have been best friends since freshman year of high school, that was only 14 years ago...but who's counting. Who knew biology class would form a long lasting friendship? 

Through high school we formed an amazing group of friends who stand up here today- they truly have become family. We, like any normal teenage girls, had a ton of fun in high school- camping trips, first speeding tickets, motorcross races, and knee surgeries.

Fast forward into college- Amy and I ended up going to school three hours away but she still managed to move me into my dorm room, attend football games, go camping, and let's not forget the ever epic trip to Vegas in the summer of 2006. A story I'll save for some other day- because I know at some point she will be saying this same speech at my future wedding and who knows what stories she might decide to tell. 

In Jan 2011 she was the most amazing best friend ever and drove across the country to move me to Texas. A few months later I got a phone call that she had met a guy and she really really really liked him. I got all the details on this guy named Tyler and I knew even though I was 1,500 miles away there was something different about the way she talked about him. Luckily that summer I was able to make it back for our annual camping trip and he was coming with her. I was fully prepared to grill him and pull the best friend card. But I remember as he got out of the jeep I didn't have to. There was something about the way he looked at her and cared for that made me smile. I knew she had found someone special.

Over the course of the past two years Tyler's family has welcomed me in when ever I've been back in California and I've gotten to know the Wildey family very well. I'm thankful that even though I'm not here on a regular basis that Amy has been welcomed into a family full of love and laughter. 

I remember so many times talking about our future and what that would like and how that story would play out- and I'm so thankful for this chapter for you both. I love you both so much and I'm thankful that at the end of the day love brought you together and we all get to celebrate that with you! 

The second wedding has been a special day in the making for over 8 years. Jess and her husband Jesus mean the world to me and she is the closest thing I've ever had to a sister. One of our dear friends married them and their vows were perfect. I cried through most of it :) 

This was my attempt at sharing how much they mean to me in my Maid of Honor speech::

A 16th century french poet once said as rare as true love is, a true friendship is even rarer. Recent studies also show that if a friendship lasts 7 years it will last a lifetime. So a friendship that has survived 23 years is special and rare and whether she likes it or not we'll be friends for a lifetime. But when you've been friends for that long where do you start? 

Our adventures as best friends started in kindergarten. I was the overly bossy and extremely loud one and Jess was the quiet reserved child with bouncing curls. Even though for most of our lives we've been polar opposites we've always balanced each other out. 

We survived the awkward years of growing up by staying up late, eating too much cookie dough and drinking too much dr. Pepper. In high school much to everyone's surprise Jess had the lead foot when we started driving- scoring her first speeding ticket when she only had her paper license. 

Fast forward to college. Fresno State is where this all started - Jess and Jesus met in 2005 and as they like to say the rest is history. 8 years, 2 kids, several moves and jobs later- here we are. Celebrating the love that has binded these two together through thick and thin, no matter what. 

When i sat down to write this I happened to find an old email that i had written Jess in the spring of 2009...we were closing in on our 24th birthdays and she needed a pep talk about life and everything that comes with it.

This is what it said: 

But that's part of the journey. You have no real idea where you will be in five, ten years. Just like 10 years ago we didn't really know where we would be today. But the greatest part of these journeys is knowing who's around to catch you when you fall or to stop you when feel like jumping off some cliff. 

This adventure called marriage, this adventure called life, this adventure called raising children is all part of the journey. All part of who you two are and who you two will become. No matter where the future takes you remember that- remember the journey, remember the adventure but most of all remember the love. 

The last wedding I was in was for two people that I love and admire so very much. I'm thankful that when planning their special day they not only wanted me their but they chipped in with the rest of our best friends to get me there. I don't think words can ever express how thankful I am for what they did. 

Their love reminds me that you never know how a story will turn out- how many turns and twists it will take to get you back to your one and only. But they have proven it's worth the wait. 

These three women are my best friends. They have been there through the happiest days and the saddest days. They have been there for my best moments and my worst and I am so thankful for their contiuned friendship and love through out the years. I will treasure my memories from these weddings and the chance to stand up for my best friends on their very special days. 

Love you ladies!