The goodness of the Lord

Have you ever left somewhere you love with all your heart, got in the car and just ugly cried? The kind of cry you can only see, you can't hear it and there's so much snot you only have time to use your hand? No? Just me? Sometimes you just have to cry, to let the memories flow, to be thankful in the moment for everything that led up to this particular time and place.

If we rewind almost 5 years we end back up in Reedley Ca, on the eve of my big move to Texas. My sweet friend and youth pastor Lonney Moore called and asked if I could meet him for coffee. He wanted to help me look for a church before I set out on this God filled adventure. The Willow Creek Association website has a find a church button and since the church I was currently attending was a member Lonney thought it was the perfect place to start. So we searched for churches in Sugar Land, Texas and the first one on the list was The Bridge Fellowship. So we clicked on the website and read through their beliefs and we both agreed that I should try this church. I remember we clicked through a few more but there was never a second choice, or a backup plan there was just one choice. The Bridge.

So my first Sunday in Texas, January 23, I set foot into this church with my best friend. I'll never forgot the service, Kenny Dean preaching, his sweet daughter being baptized and small group sign ups. Amy nudged me and said look at all these fun groups, you should sign up for one! So I did. I picked a lady named Tianna who loved dessert. I filled out my name on the information card, checked her group and dropped my card in the offering plate. 

I didn't know in that moment how much that Sunday would change my life. Lately as I prepare to head back home to California I can't help but reflect back on the last 5 years of life and the impact this church has had on me. 

I've been stuck lately on this verse- “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.”

Psalm 27:13 NIV

Today I sat in church, most likely one of the last times at The Bridge and I thought about this verse. About how over the last 5 years I have seen the goodness of the Lord. How a group of strangers not only opened their church to me, but their homes and the hearts and their families. They welcomed me with love and grace and acceptance. They challenged me to walk with the Lord no matter what, to seek His face always. 

I've been blessed with an amazing small group, the opportunity to lead a group of amazing young women through high school and the chance to launch a second campus. I've been to summer camp and watched high schoolers lives be transformed. I've been to England to share the gospel of love and hope. I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Today I got the chance to see a friend that I had invited to church a few years back and as we talked about the past and the future there was a moment when the tears appeared and we both realized the impact that had been made. She is now happily married and serving at The Bridge. I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

One of the beautiful young women I had the chance to walk through high school with found me this morning and we talked about doing lunch after. She found me after service and realized she had serious homework to do today and couldn't do lunch. I was so proud of her in that moment for choosing to put the sometimes mundane but necessary ahead of an afternoon of fun. I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

As hard as it is to leave next month I am so excited for the future. I know God is directing my path and I will lean into Him everyday. I remain confident of this-I am leaving Texas a different woman. One who loves with abandon, who's door is always open and one who always looks for the good. I am so very thankful for this place and it's people. I pray that the future of The Bridge is filled with open doors, and bold declarations. My prayer is that The Bridge is a place that people are always welcome, a place that they fall head over heels in love with Jesus and they can't help but share His life and His love. 

If The Bridge Fellowship and Texas have taught me anything it would be this- Love God, love people and trust the rest will fall into place. ❤️

Where I came from....

I remember the moment like it was yesterday- standing at the security gate at Hobby Airport. My best friend heading in back to California- me out the car to start my life in Texas. I hugged her neck and cried - for the journey, for the memories, for the unknown. At 25 I was starting over in a new place. 

Fast forward 4.5 years - that's how long I've lived in Texas. When I wasn't sure I would make it a week or a month or even  a year I made it 4.5. Or a little over. But who's counting anyways? I've built a life, built my career, trusted Jesus with everything I had and made friends that I know will last a lifetime. You might ask what happened to that California size dream I had? I tucked it away. I held the memories and the smells close but I tucked it away for another day, and prayed that one day God would give me the deepest desire of my heart. 

This past January my mom had open heart surgery and since I was home for Christmas I was able to extend my stay and see her through her surgery. Leaving her in ICU was hands down one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. 

After I returned I could slowly feel something changing inside. I kept thinking about our treasures in heaven vs. our earthly ones and how we tend to invest so much time and effort into the earthly treasures. But they fade. They disappear. A career, money, a title. All of those things disappear. And yet I realized I was chasing earthly treasures. At 28 I had been given my dream job but sometimes your dreams aren't all you thought they were going to be. I know sometimes we are called to a place for a season- not forever but just for a moment. And that's what my time in Willis is, a season. It's been a season of growth and frustration, and accomplishment and doubt. Even though I don't know the reason for this season I'm thankful for it. For the friendships and people along the way and the opportunities I've been given. 

So if I'm going to focus on heavenly treasures what does that look like? It looks like being there for the little moments of life - dinner with friends, birthday parties, playing Chinese checkers with my Grandma, going camping, celebrating a new baby. That in my mind is what Jesus meant by storing your treasure in heaven.  Investing in the Kingdom of God so that people in your life will see the one you call King. That you will be there for them no matter the season. 

What do you do when your faced with this life changing, life altering decision? You pray. And you listen and you seek wise council. And then you take one step out in faith- be brave and go for it. I've learned that the hardest part in life is that first step. But there is beauty and hope found in trusting Jesus. I know that He will make a way- and He will write the next story of my life so beautifully I will know it was penned by the hand of God. So right now with 20 applications out I'm headed home next month and I couldn't be more excited (and nervous!) 

I've fallen in love with Texas and its people but my soul belongs in California. I miss the mountains and the water and the cooler weather. So before I spend too much of my life chasing titles and my career I'm going home. To do the mundane everyday life things I've been missing out on. 

Like I always say it's easier to know where you are going when you can remember where you came from.