I think if I'm honest the hardest moments of my faith come after the shine and newness of the decision has worn off and all that's left is my honest reality. And sometimes I find myself looking back. Staring in the rearview mirror sad about what I've missed out on, or what I gave up in making this decision. But every time I'm taken back to the fact that He doesn't make mistakes. That every step and every path that I've followed him on wholeheartedly has always given me so much joy. But again if I'm honest it's more about the journey of finding the joy.
I realized that the other day when a young lady in my life called - she left for college this fall and called in tears overwhelmed in the moment by the situation. She missed her own space, her own home, she missed her family and the familiarity that comes with knowing your place. I think often we follow God into experiences not knowing our place and we are fearful of how vulnerable and human we are in that moment. Tears stung my face as I listened to her talk between soft cries of what she missed. My heart ached for her because in every part of my being I knew how she felt. I knew what it felt like to miss the familiar and you pick up the phone to call someone just to hear a voice of someone that's known you longer then a few months.
But in the course of the conversation I asked her to tell me one good thing about the weekend she had just had and one good thing about the week to come.
Finding the joy.
We have to live in the moment that God has created for us because to live in the past is to miss out on everything in your midst. To live in the past is to wonder and worry and over think. To live in the present is to truly live. To find the joy in your everyday, to look for the beauty in the mundane and know that God has created you for this exact moment.
So to those searching for the joy I would say this:
1. Hold onto your memories and your experiences but don't dwell on them. In the tough moments of missing home or a particular time or place I remind myself that I'm thankful for that experience. Not only for what it taught me but for the joy it brought to my life. Those moments that are mine and can never be taken away - they are precious and close to my heart. Hold onto them.
2. Seek God with everything you have. He hasn't brought to this place or to this moment to be miserable, so regardless of the circumstances or how much you would wish it could change seek Him. The more you dig into who He is the more you understand what you were made for.
3. Lastly keep a list of gratitude. Write down a few everyday that remind you of the good in the world - the warm cup of coffee you had this morning, or the laughter you shared with a friend. Write them down and be thankful for them.
This moment is your life. Embrace it. Don't wish it away - because one day you will wake up and everything will be different. Ironically enough you may wish for today, but it will only be a memory. Hold onto those memories for the nights you can't sleep. Hold onto those memories with everything you have - they are a window to your past and a keepsake for your future.
