My 30th birthday

Every year since I've turned 26 I've spent the last few hours of my birthday sharing my thoughts about the year that has passed and the hope for the future. I read through these posts tonight and felt every moment and memory over the last four years and how much I've grown up. 

The common theme in reading these posts? Love. Quite simply love from my family and friends and people who genuinely care about me. I'm reminded that the bible teaches us that are greatest commandment is to love God and others. 

I've been blessed today and everyday to feel loved. I've received text messages, emails, facebook posts, calls, delivery's and sweet songs about my birthday. Being able to celebrate with friends and family is one of life's greatest blessings. 

I think the best part of today is this story  I'm about to share. It takes place in the fall of 1984 and spring of 1985. A young man who had just turned 30 was about to become a father. That man is my Dad. And today he shared with me the first hand account of that special day 30 years ago in May of 1985: 

It was August in the year 1984. My wife at the time, Danielle and I are on our way to Lake Tahoe to visit my cousin Linda Lear. We took the boat so we’regoing fishing; we're having a great weekend. The conversation came up about Danielle and I having children. We told her that we had been trying but for one reason or another we were not going to be able to. She mentioned that adoption was a possibility and she knew somebody that helps ladies in the area hook up with potential adoptive parents for their children. We thought that we would try that out and she said she would call her friend next week. I think it was a few weeks or a month later we got a phone call from her, she had a client that needed to have her baby adopted. She didn't realize she was pregnant because she didn't believe she could get pregnant, she was already about three months along when the doctor told her. 

We drove up to South Lake Tahoe area to meet this lady and the birthmother named Daryl. She wanted to interview us with another couple then select which one would be best for her child. I guess the interview went well, a few days later we got the call that we were going to be parents, now the rest of the story. 

We got excited, started fixing up the room for our new baby, as per the ultrasound it was going to be a boy. My wife went to Tahoe for Lamaze classes with Daryl and together we took Lamaze classes in San Jose,kind of unusual being the only couple in Lamaze classwithout a pregnant woman. 

As time went by more ultrasounds and now the doctor wasn't sure if it was going to be a boy or a girl, but I was pretty sure it was going to be a girl. It was April 1985 the room is ready, wallpapered, the crib is assembled everything is in the right place. I refinished a dresser and drawers and painted them white, theroom is perfect for our new baby that's coming soon. 

It was a Monday morning I had to go to work, there was a new project in Almaden for IBM ResearchCenter; I was in charge of B wing. About 10 am the office called on the radio that I needed to come to the office, there was a phone call for me. It was Danielle she had gotten the call that Daryl’s water broke and she was in labor. I had to get home, pack and drive to Southlake Tahoe hopefully before the baby arrived. As we took the four and a half hour drive, Danielle became more and more nervous to the point where her stomach was upset. As we got to the hospital and went into the room, Daryl was on a special chair bed ready, waiting, agonizing; we made it just in time. All along Danielle was going to be her coach during labor but she couldn't stay out of the bathroom, so I had to come up to the plate, hold Daryl's hand and talk her through. I told her it was going to be alright, calm down and watch the monitor, give her a heads up that another contraction was coming. It took a few hoursstanding there nervous as hell; Danielle was in and out, very nervous, more nervous than me. As we got closer the nurses came in and monitored dilation, it's time to change this bed into a chair. I'm holding Daryl's hand and she's pushing and this little head starts to come out, it's my baby girl Margaret.  It was the best time of my life. Darrell was exhausted, the nurses took the baby into the nursery and cleaned her up and then brought her back to us. We took the baby to our hotel, both freaking out, we have an itty-bitty teeny-weeny little baby girl and neither one of usreally know what the hell we’re doing or how much this was going to change our lives . After all, this was the 1980’s cocaine was rampant, my life was going to change forever, we were partiers, now what the hell are we going to do?? This little angel performed her first miracle the day she was born, she saved my life and her mothers, I’m sure, I'm positive of this.

Thirty years ago my angel was born, Happy Birthday Margaret, I love you more than words can say.

It all boils down to love. For each other, for God, for your neighbor. Love each other with everything you've got. ❤️

Life is full of surprises

It was 2005. My sophomore year of college at Fresno State was about to be over and my 20th birthday was approaching. My birthday always fell the week before "dead days" which were two days set up with no classes that you could use to study and get ready for finals. This just meant more time to party and not having to set an alarm for class the next day. All we had to do was wake up and do it again. 

Do you remember those American Express commercials that told you how much your vacation cost but then seeing the look on your child's face is PRICELESS? That's how awesome my friends were- they had a shirt created for me that said this: Never remembering your 20th birthday ....PRICELESS. And in true overachiever fashion I didn't. Sometimes I think wanting to be the best and always wanting to outdo everyone made me the most dangerous drinker. I could draw a crowd and start keg stands and take shots faster then anyone. 

Sadly that's how I started the most empowering, emotional, dangerous and rewarding decade of my life. I truly believe that your 20's help mold the person you will be become. Your 20's are when you make mistakes, lots of them. You travel, you move, you fall in love, you fall out of love, you start jobs and you end some. Your 20's have a way of changing who you are and dictating who you will become. But thankfully that story is only the beginning. 

There's is something about the decade that is your 20's that will test you - and you will prove to yourself and everyone who you really are. Your 20's are beautiful and wonderful, your first real shot at adulthood. 

So here are some things I learned along the way:

1. Love with everything you have- sometimes we spend so much time dreaming about the future or looking in the past that we forget today. We forget the moments that last forever. So make the gesture, call someone, do something out of the ordinary. Drive three hours on a weekday to take your best friend's little girl trick or treating. Just because you want to. I guarantee those memories will last a lifetime.

2. Travel- I've been blessed to travel a lot in my 20's. The adventure of backpacking in Europe with my girlfriends in college, England on a mission trip, Mexico, Washington, Texas, Louisiana, Hawaii, Colorado. It's worth it so get in your car, or buy a plane ticket and go visit someone you haven't seen in a while. 

3. Love God and serve- He created this beautiful world and finding Him has been the greatest joy of my life. I trusted Him enough to let him change my life and He did. Beyond my wildest dreams. And I plan on spending the rest of my life serving Him, sharing the gospel, loving on those he puts in my path. But most of all I will honor Him by blooming wherever he plants me. 

4. Work hard- In anything. At work, at home, in life. Work hard and you will go far in life, but always remember to give back. To know your place and know when to take a seat at the table. Earn your way towards your future and I promise you won't regret it. 

5. Move away - If you would have told me on my 20th birthday that I would spend the last half of my 20's living in another state I would have laughed. But sometimes the unexpected hits, you lose your job and you make sacrifices for what you want. So I moved. And I started over. And what an adventure it has been. It's made me so very thankful about the people that know me. There's something to be said for people that have known you over half your life. They are just simply yours. But the adventure of moving has opened up doors and new friendships and no matter what the future brings I can't imagine my life without this place. I am truly a Texan. 

One day you turn 20 and then without ever realizing it your only a few days from 30. You've watched best friends fall in love, get married and have children. You've celebrated lives that have been taken too soon. You've fallen in love and out. You've learned- about life and love. You've loved with all you've got and you treasure the memories made along the way.  

The thing about my 20's? I wouldn't trade any of it. Every moment, every adventure, every tear made me into the woman I've become and for that I am thankful.