Parachute Friend

This past weekend we had a guest speaker talk to our high schoolers at church and he shared a story about a guy named Charlie Plumb. Charlie's fighter jet was shot down during a flyover in the Vietnam war, and while he survived ejection he was captured and placed in a war camp. He spent 6 years confined in hostile territory and when the war was finally over he was released.

After he had returned he and his wife were at dinner one night and a gentleman approached them asking if he was Charlie Plumb. He said yes I am. And the gentleman went on to list all the things he had done, and where they thought his plane may have gone down, and how he thought about him often. Finally Charlie interuppted and said I'm sorry sir but how do you know who I am? And he said I packed your parachute that day. I've thought of you so many times over the years and I always wondered what happened to you. Charlie told him well you saved my life that day, thank you.

Then the guest speaker asked if we had any parachute friends. If there was one name that comes to mind? One person who would walk through fire for you in the middle of the night, who supports you, pushes, laughes with you, cries with you?

One name came to mind for me : Michelle

Michelle and I have been friends since the beginning of high school, so going on 14 years. We are so very much alike: both driven, motivated, loud at times, caring, crazy and fun to be around. The thing I love the most about Michelle is she forgives. Our senior year in high school I was an awful friend to her and by the time graduation came we were barely talking. A few years later I had the sudden urge to talk to her, to apologize for the stupid things I said and did. I called her parent's house and her mom said she had moved to Texas and gave me her cell phone number. That day I was able to say I'm sorry and mean it. Funny how apologies are more about you forgiving yourself then they are the other person forgiving you.

Since then we have been the best of friends. In 2008 I had the honor to stand up in her wedding as a bridesmaid and I couldn't have been more honored. The funny thing is you don't really know how amazing your friends are until you see them from afar.

Over the last two years she has been the greatest support as I adjust to life in Texas. She finished college out here and thankfully had insight into living life in another state. For the first year or so I would call sometimes in the middle of the night in tears and she would wake up and talk me through whatever was going on.

She's the first person that ever really shared God and the gospel with me. As we've grown up she's always been there to share guidance and wisdom, send me encouraging scripture or a book on a topic I've been praying about.

God places the most amazing people in our life sometimes and I am so very thankful Michelle is in mine. We've survived the pettiness of high school, cross country moves, and loss of loved ones. At the end of the day I can't imagine doing life with anyone else even if she is 1,500 miles away. Somehow she has managed to pack my parachute so many times and I've only survived the rocky landing because of her beautiful friendship.

December

Standing in the kitchen last Thursday I felt my knees buckle and give way as I sank to the floor. I literally felt like someone had electrocuted me. I laid on the floor for almost ten minutes and wondered how I would get off the floor.

Sadly this back spasm wasn't the first indication of something going wrong with my back. Right before a WOD the day after Thanksgiving I reached down to pick my keys off the floor and my back went out. If you've ever had back problems you will know how awful that feeling is. On Monday I went to the chiropractor (he's amazing!), did ice/heat, massages etc. And then the back spasm. I was so upset and seriously couldn't imagine how many steps I had taken back with this recent episode.

So that day I decided to take a month off of CrossFit. I'm not sure what pissed me off more- my back being hurt or not being able to do something I love for a month because of it. So that day I did what any self respecting woman would do: I bought a container of cookie dough and Oreo birthday cake ice cream and proceeded to have a pity party. I struggle when change isn't something that I've initated or wanted. And this is definitely not something I've initiated or wanted that is for sure.

 I got up the next morning and got on the scale and realized that I'd gain almost 10 pounds in the last month or so and that was my breaking point. I can't let my back injury take away any of the progress I've made. One day at a time. One meal at a time. But mark my words I will do this. I will take December to let my back heal and then come January 2013 I will be back.

Not a Fan

Sometimes a book changes your life. You read something that convicts you, pushes your buttons and requires you to stop thinking about what you want. We just finished a book called "Not a Fan". The book asks one overwhelming question: fan or follower?

One of my favorite lines from the book says this:

"What are the scenes that would unfold differently in your life if you were a follower instead of a fan? What would your life look like if you followed Jesus completely? No excuses. Wherever. Whenever. Whatever" Kyle Idleman- Not a Fan.

I struggle with letting go, with letting God have all of it. But I've discovered in reading this book that I have to give up my life, my wants, my dreams. Everything I hold dear must go out the window. That sounds scary. But the idea of not being a follower, of Jesus being an afterthought in my everyday life is even scarier.

A few weeks ago I decided what exactly being a follower at this point in my life would like. And this is it: stop looking at jobs in California. Focus on my life here and accept that this is exactly where God wants me to be. You would think after almost 2 years here I would be off this rollercoaster, but it's taken me a long time to get here. God had to break my pride, my spirit, and every little piece of me that screams "This life is only about me!" to get me to this point. And to be honest the peace I've felt since the decision has been amazing. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can truly say that my life is in God's hands. Whenever. Wherever. Whatever.

The book talks often about the scenes of your life and how they would play out if you were a fan or a follower. And today the most amazing follower story happened at work.

Last night at small group our small group leader handed out wrist bands that said Not a Fan. And I put mine on and today it's still on. I found myself this morning talking to a coworker about taking pictures for us and all of a sudden she says "Are you reading Not a Fan?" And my first thought was what? I guess I had a quizical look on my face and she said your bracelet, it says Not a Fan. And from there we shared stories about the book and how much it has affected us and changed our life. I had the chance to tell her about California and my decision and where I am at right now in life.

Other then a few casual conversations I have never had a personal conversation with her and today we shared our faith and our stories. All because of a book. A book that has changed both of our lives. I truly believe our lives have intersections and we get the chance to meet people and share stories and change the course of tomorrow. I am so glad I had the opportunity today. Because at the end of the day I want what is said of me to be simple: She's a Christian. Everything else is a role or hobby.

A reminder

She knew that many were the plans in her heart but that God's purpose would previal. There is such freedom in trusting in God. Today for the first time in a long time I am absolutely ok with where my life is.
I love those moments when life just feels good. When work is going well, when your friends are doing awesome and overall you are just happy and thankful to be alive. I know deep in my heart that God has the most amazing plan for my life. Sometimes though I forget that. And I need reminders like the verse above to remind me of God's grace and love. Everything happens for a reason and I know that I did not end up in South Texas on accident.


I love days like today. I ran errands for my boss. I had lunch with a dear friend. I blogged. I spent time on pinterest. Tonight I'm going to crossfit, tomorrow I'm going to attempt to change my air filter, hang out with friends and go to church on Sunday.

No matter where my life takes me I hold onto moments like these for dear life. They have an easy way of reminding me of everything that is good and that no matter what happens, I know I will be ok. God's got this and with that reminder so do I!

My cholesterol

Who knew at 27 that I would be excited about my cholesterol??? The day before I started Crossfit (November 3rd, 2011), we had a blood work screening done at work for cholesterol. Other than occasionally wondering what my blood pressure might be and if it was good, I never really gave a second thought to blood tests and cholesterol. My thought process was always that I'm young and those are "old people problems".

I was shocked to find that my overall cholesterol was high, my bad cholesterol was over the optimal range, and my good cholesterol was low. Oh and my blood pressure was in the pre-hypertension category. And I was over weight by 43 pounds. Are you serious? I think at that moment as the nurse started going over all my test results the facts started sinking in.

As I've progressed over this journey of Paleo and Crossfit I've wondered if my numbers have changed. Yesterday I went in for my routine wellness exam and my numbers have changed drastically!

LDL - This cholesterol can can build up walls in your arteries and increase heart disease. The optimal number for this is under 100.

November 11 - 107
July12 - 85

HDL - This is the 'good' cholesterol. The higher the number here the lower the risk of heart disease. 60 and above is considered optimal.

November 11 - 66
July 12 - 71

Triglycerides - Triglycerides are the chemical form in which most fat exists in food and the body. A high triglyceride level has been linked to higher risk of coronary artery disease. Less then 150 is normal.

November 11 - 71
July 12 - 62

Total Cholesterol - less then 200 is desirable

November 11 - 187
July 12 - 168

Blood pressure

November 11- 122/80 (pre-hypertension)
July 12 - 100/60

Weight

November 11 - 243
July 12 - 205

My health is of vital importance to me at this stage in my life because I truly get the fact that we only get one shot. And I want to make the best of this life!!

The journey to a new me

Sometimes it takes something simple to see everything with a new perspective. Today I put on a pair of shorts and a black top. As I walked back into the bathroom I got a glimpse of my reflection. The shorts hung off my hips and the shirt looked like a dress or a tent. Not the cute snug fitting shirt it was 6 months ago. At that moment it hit me. I'm skinny! These size 14 shorts and XL top don't fit me.

As I let that reality sink in I realized every little moment along the way mattered. The moment I turned down a cookie dough cupcake for the rec center's 1st birthday mattered. The moment I walked away from the cookies at bunco before my willpower dissolved. They have all mattered and that makes me so very happy.

The other day a friend asked if I will ever eat junk food ever again. I wasn't sure of my answer. I probably will. I will probably partake in a piece of wedding cake at my friend's weddings in September. And I'm ok with that. But I also know my limits. I know that sugar is my greatest weakness. I also know when I avoid it the 'crack meter' in my brain that tells me I need it goes away. I feel better, I perform better, I sleep better. I do know that my life will never be the same and I will never go back to my old habits.

I'm enjoying being the fittest and smallest version of me that I've ever been in my entire adult life. I went from a size 16 pants, size XL tops, size 42DD bra, to a size 10 pants, size M top, and a 38 C bra. I've lost 37 pounds since January and I don't ever plan on finding it again. This new me is permanent.

I still have a few goals as I progress into this new version of me: to weigh under 200 pounds. Currently I sit at 206. I plan on fighting for every pound.

To all my friends that are trying to get healthy and stay healthy, keep working at it! You can do it. It takes a lot of fight and good decisions to get you there but I know you can do it. Your future self will thank you. Cheers to getting healthy and staying there!

My 27th Birthday

It seems like as the years go by time flies faster. Is it really my birthday? Again?

So I started making a list in my head of all the amazing things that have happened over the last year:

Work - I struggled greatly over the last year with work and my place and purpose. Transitioning into programming has been such a great blessing. At the exact moment I thought I couldn't take it anymore God provided a way out. I'm so excited about summer camp and what the future holds in my career. I love that fact that while it's not everything I thought it was going to be, I've found the best within it. There are good days and there are bad ones, but I'm finding my niche within it.

CrossFit- I found something I absolutely love to do on a daily basis. It's hard, it kicks my butt everyday, and it challenges me. I want to hit new PR's, I want to be able to do a pull up one day without a band. I want to do CrossFit until someone tells me I can't do it anymore :) With it I've acquired an AMAZING group of friends. They are a dedicated, hard working, fun loving group of people.

Getting healthy- I've lost 35 pounds in the last year and I feel great. I feel strong, healthy, happy and confident. I've struggled with my weight for most of my 20's so it feels good to have finally gotten somewhere. It's been hard and challenging but worth every minute of being on the road to skinny :)

The girls- I can't say enough about the ladies in my small group at church. We're going to dinner tomorrow night and I can't wait to celebrate with them. When I moved here I never realized how hard it could be to make friends. But God has blessed me abundantly in that department. To all my ladies- I love you!

For some reason in the last couple of months turning 27 has freaked me out. I have some fear about the fact that I am heading straight towards 30 and I have no clear picture of what the future holds. If you asked my 17 year old self I would have spouted off some cookie cutter version of what my life would look like. For some reason I like to check things off lists, I hate when my life doesn't have a checklist. College. Check. First real job. Check. Grad school. Check. 27 and no check list. The things not checked off my list? A husband, children, the white picket fence.

Life is funny like that sometimes right? Everywhere you thought you'd be is no where near where you are. I'm learning to be ok with that. I've learned that I have no idea what's around the corner, I'm taking each day for the adventure that it is. The other day a dear friend told me that I need to embrace the moment. A lot of people never get the chance to see another state let alone live in one.

Three years ago I bought my first house, and celebrated my 24th birthday and housewarming party at the same time. If you had told me that three years later I would be living in South Texas I'm not sure I would have believed you. But that's the beauty of trusting and relying on God. When you let him lead, you have no idea where He will take you.