The first half of 2010

What better way to enter the second half of 2010 then by taking a look back at the first half?

I remember very vividly ringing in the new year at Michelle and Steve's house with friends, very much looking forward to the new year, full of optimism and hope. As though I was literally on top of the world. Spent new years day with my Dad and Step mom in San Jose. The rest of the month went accordingly: hung out with grad school friends prior to the start of the spring semester.

February was relatively quiet :) Maybe the calm before the storm?? Gathered with the O.G.'s (original gangstas) at Mel's house for Superbowl.

March produced anxiety at work, as I dubbed it Marge's Month of Madness.

April I realized I had survived March and was super excited that I had made it through conference, the start of 500 little ones playing baseball, 5 days of fun camp and much more. Then my car got broken into and along with $250 for a new window went a semester's worth of grad school notes and my newly purchased planner from Office Depot. Easily replaceable but still scared me. In the back of my mind I wondered how brave people could be to smash in a person's car window while they were home and in their driveway no less. I guess in some ways I could have been prepared for what happened next but I guess the naive love that I hold for almost any breathing person prevented me from thinking too much into it.

I look very much forward to birthdays in general and even more so to mine. I believe in birthday month because you can never celebrate a birthday for too many days! Though since I was a young girl I developed a dislike to odd year birthdays. Random I know, and I have no idea where I developed this habit but I thought my 25th year would be different. The weekend prior to my birthday was spent with two of my best friends that I share a quad with of days on the calendar in May. Too much to eat, but much needed girl time with these two very special ladies.

Spent my birthday eve with Denise on the beach! Playing hookie from work in the middle of the week to play on the beach??? Sign me up! The best trip I've had in a long time. Came home on my birthday to my house broken into. I cannot describe the fear, the tears, the pain or the scared feeling that came with all of that. I still carry some of that with me and I think I always will. Even though it has been over a month and I have an alarm system I still sleep with a bat. Some habits die hard.

My birthday celebration continued with the O.G's making the trek down and helping to postpone the fear of strangers being in my house and stealing my stuff. My friends in general are amazing and I couldn't have made it through that without all of them.

I would have hoped that would have been it. But I will never know or understand God's plan. Almost two weeks ago I received my lay off notice from the City of Reedley. And while that whole experience is another post in itself this whole month has left me trying to figure out which way is up.

And the only way that I've managed to keep swimming at all is holding on to the faith that our Lord has a plan that even the OCD planner in me cannot come up with. The hardest part of it all is letting go and realizing that I never really knew what I was doing anyways :)