Somedays

I'm striving everyday to be the best version of myself - to be the woman God created me to be inside and out. I'd be lying if I said that everyday was perfect - that there weren't moments that the tears well up and and I find myself blindly wiping them away. 

In those moments all I can do is take a deep breath and trust. Trust that God will carry me when I cannot walk any farther. That He will go ahead of me as promised and fight for me when I have nothing left inside of me. I imagine when I'm too tired to stand, I find God kneeling beside me saying "Rest child" as He stands to fight my battles.

If I were to be completely honest, I'm afraid. I'm afraid of the unknown waters of the future, I'm afraid of what I can't see instead of trusting the One who carries me in the dark.  

In the darkest and hardest moments of my life God has rescued me. He has picked me up when I felt there was no hope and nothing left. I'm praying that I never forget the love and security and hope found in who He is. 

We will get there together

During my trip to England in June we got the chance to go mt. biking in the Forest of Dean. A super fun trip filled with mud and bumps and hills ended with a tumble over the handle bars. 

Fast forward almost a month and a half later and I've been through an MRI that indicates I have a SLAP tear in my shoulder from the fall. 

It's in these moments when we have the hardest time seeing the future because we have a hard time dealing with what's right in front of us. 

What's right in front of me? 6 weeks of therapy and then an appointment to see if it's any better. If it's not then we schedule surgery. That means 6 weeks in a sling followed by 6 - 9 months of therapy. 

Every moment there are a million thoughts running through my head. I'm scared, I'm nervous. I'm afraid for what's around the corner. 

But then I'm reminded of a few things: that God has got this. He hasn't failed me yet and he won't start now. And the   second thing I am reminded of is how amazing and blessed I am to have the friends I do. 

The one thing I refuse to do is stop working and stop fighting. I've been told not to Crossfit and though I have stopped lifting and doing anything overhead I refuse to stop doing something I love. I will work on box jumps, sit ups, lunges and anything else that doesn't require my arms. I will run miles before my workouts and after. Because at the end of the day I refuse to go down without a fight. 

Last night after our workout one of my dear friends and coaches texted me this:: 

Hi Marge, i just wanted to say something real quick. I can see over the past few days even though you have that beautiful smile on your face, you still seem to be worried about your shoulder. 

I know that you know this, but i wanted go ahead and remind you that God puts us in these situations to test our courage, emotions, and our vulnerabilities to figure out what type of person you are when things arent going well.

Now we all know you are a great loving friend and awesome person, so i am pretty sure this test from God is to show how Extraordinary you are. 

You will get through this Marge and you will be better than ever. We all have your back on whatever decision you make and we will make sure we have our Cali girl back on track.

Keep your head up and keep that beautiful smile on your face. 

Love, Khizer :-)

Another friend sent this in a text:

We will be there when you wake up from surgery, and when you're cleared to run we'll run, and I'll visit and have game nights 

This is why I love Crossfit. At the end of the day they have your back. Regardless of what else happens they have been there through the tough workouts and moments that you want to quit and they have supported you. I'm thankful for this group of people that has rallied around me and hasn't told me to stop chasing my goals. But instead they have said it may take us a little longer and it might not be on the road we planned-

but we will get there together someday. 

England 2013

I'm not sure if I can ever put into words how amazing and life changing this trip has been. Walking into the halls of Lakers School on Monday I wasn't fully prepared for what God had in store. He has given us sweet moments with these students, asked us to defend who we are and ultimately revealed a little more of who He is and His plan for all of us. 

Entering into their Religious Education classes we've been challenged, questioned, asked about everything under the sun and at the end of the day we've been able to share our faith. It's not everyday you walk into a school and share who you are, what you believe and what you stand for. But that's what we've done. 

We've discussed questions such as "Is religion dangerous?" Or "Is it hard to be religious in the 21st century?" Or "Should religious people keep their beliefs out of medical ethics?" Or "God cannot be described" and my favorite "God has no place in modern society". These are questions that I think Christians don't think about everyday- but we've sat with students and talked and debated and shared our point of view. 

Today during a question and answer time one of the girls said this: "I've never met anyone that was this strong in their faith" It was a simple statement but it has  resonated with me. I've realized that God has molded me into this strong and vibrant person who is willing to share the gospel because at the end of the day it's all that matters. 

My 28th Birthday

There is only a few minutes left of my birthday and even though it is way past my bedtime I couldn't miss the opportunity to put my pen to paper and hold onto these sweet moments.  

For the first time in my adult life I am thrilled for what 28 will bring. I would describe this birthday as a moment in time where I feel comfortable in my own skin. I feel confident in who God is shaping and molding me to be and I'm ready for whatever adventures He has in store for me. (That includes a trip to Coleford, England in 31 days with my students from church!)

I have felt an overwhelming sense of love and grace from the people in my life. Not only in California but the amazing people and coworkers God has blessed me with here in Texas who have made this birthday one that I will remember for a very long time.

Today was one of those days you wish you could freeze frame and hold on to when life gets rough and your not sure what the next day will bring. But I know that the sweet presents, voicemails, texts and moments I had today will live on in my heart and in my memory.

Feeling very blessed by the people in my life - every single person who made this birthday special- you know who you are. Thank you for thinking of me, thank you for loving me, thank you for supporting me.


Fast forward 365 days and here's a quick thought for the me that will be closing in on the end of the decade called her twenties:

I truly hope you live this year with abandon - you love more, you give more, you hope more and you dream more. This life is truly yours for the taking and with God the sky is the limit. Don't be afraid to say what you feel, share with the people around you and love like you've never loved before. 

Continue to put God first and He will direct your path, remember that as you grow older you have the blessed opportunity to spend another day on this earth sharing the love and joy you have found in Christ. Don't be afraid to be the light- be who you are and everyone will love you for it. Don't take life too seriously because you never know what's around the corner that might derail the best of plans. Love your friends and family and extend grace whenever possible. 

But if you do nothing else in the next 365 days at least do this - LOVE those around you as much as you love yourself. The rest will fall into place. 

Blessings

It's hard to be sad or down or upset when you have too many things to be grateful for. So I made a list.

5 things tonight that I am grateful for:

1. The simple task of crawling into my bed at night - knowing that I am loved.

2. Knowing that the God of the universe has a plan for my life and know exactly what the future holds.

3. The ladies in my small group who challenge and grow me every week.

4. My sweet friend that sent me flowers today to kick off birthday month

5. My friends and family in California who despite the distance are still here for me everyday.

Doing life together

At first glance this picture to any passer by would be a simple glimpse of a group having dinner.

But to those of us in the picture it is so much more. This picture represents life, trust, family and friendships.

This world is crazy and full of chaos but on a Wednesday night for a small second the loudness of life quiets down. It's within those moments of quiet that we find the freedom and courage to be ourselves. To lay all of who we are on the table for those we trust to examine and help us grow.

Life is messy but done best with those you love. And on Wednesdays for a small moment of time God brings us together to listen and share and heal all the broken pieces. Everyone of us has a story, something to share, or something to say. And we get the blessed opportunity to gather around the table every week and do just that. Share, listen, laugh, pray and enjoy the blessings of this amazing thing we call small group.

England 2013

I feel blessed that since I've been in Texas God has provided me with the most amazing people to do life with at The Bridge Fellowship. Being a small group leader to a group of high schoolers has challenged me and my walk with God in ways I never thought possible.

And when I think my heart can't hold anymore joy or love, the opportunity of a lifetime presented itself. Lead a group of high school students on a mission trip to England to help share the love of Jesus Christ. I remember thinking me? You want me to help lead the next generation on a mission trip?

I love that when you think you aren't capable of doing something God equips you in ways you never thought possible. So here I am less then two months from the adventure of a lifetime - taking a group of high school students to share their story and the Gospel with our brothers and sisters in Coleford, England. We will stay in host homes and do life with them, the students will also participate in discussions in their classes about Christianity in America and what life looks like for us as believers.

Today I am asking for your support through finances and prayers. The total cost of the trip is $2800.00. As of today I have raised $1205.00 bringing my balance to $1595.00

You can give online:

https://public.serviceu.com/PaymentForm/11956/?OrgKey=2e86a7cc-3d0c-4d75-b382-297353d56465

You can mail a check to:

The Bridge Fellowship (note: “Marge Littleton-England")
802 Brooks Street

Sugar Land TX 77478

Or you can join us April 18th at Il Primo Pizza (99 and Mason in Richmond) where 10% of your purchase will go to support our team!

As we prepare for this journey please pray for the life change that these students and leaders will experience as we share the gospel, as well as open hearts for those we will be serving on this incredible trip. One final thought comes from a sermon I listened to at the end of 2012 that talks about the importance of going on missions and serving those around us. The scriptures shared were from 3 John 5-8:


5 Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers and sisters,[a] even though they are strangers to you. 6 They have told the church about your love. Please send them on their way in a manner that honors God. 7 It was for the sake of the Name that they went out, receiving no help from the pagans. 8 We ought therefore to show hospitality to such people so that we may work together for the truth.

These verses have stuck out to me since then and I feel honored and privileged to work together with my friends, family and these students as we share the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Our team (from left to right): Marshall Peterson, Brad Fisk, Madison Gould, Gabby Nguyen, Alex Baez, Tyler Baez, Marge Littleton & Joyce Abiodun. Not pictured: Joel Owens